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In a crushing blow to the plans of the Evil One, the Jones family made it to church this past Sunday.
In a crushing blow to the plans of the Evil One, the Jones family made it to church this past Sunday.
 
The world is in shock today after the father of lies abruptly stepped down from his role as "the adversary." The Devil credited the astonishing performance of TikTok, an invention he reportedly developed together with his business partner Xi Jinping.
The world is in shock today after the father of lies abruptly stepped down from his role as "the adversary." The Devil credited the astonishing performance of TikTok, an invention he reportedly developed together with his business partner Xi Jinping.
 
The Satanic Temple plans to launch its first after-school program in Tennessee at an elementary school just outside of Memphis come January, a development that sparked widespread controversy within the community.
The Satanic Temple plans to launch its first after-school program in Tennessee at an elementary school just outside of Memphis come January, a development that sparked widespread controversy within the community.
 
Local police have taken in the man who reportedly entered the Iowa State Capitol and reigned destruction upon the satanic statue of Baphomet, cutting off its head epically and gloriously with a chainsaw. According to law enforcement, the man said his name was "Doom Guy".
Local police have taken in the man who reportedly entered the Iowa State Capitol and reigned destruction upon the satanic statue of Baphomet, cutting off its head epically and gloriously with a chainsaw. According to law enforcement, the man said his name was "Doom Guy".
 
A Satan-worshipping cult of pedophiles is blackmailing girls into cutting themselves — but the FBI didn’t seem interested in that so much as the fact that one of its members once used the n-word, a Daily Wire investigation found.
A Satan-worshipping cult of pedophiles is blackmailing girls into cutting themselves — but the FBI didn’t seem interested in that so much as the fact that one of its members once used the n-word, a Daily Wire investigation found.
 
The Satanic Temple claimed the abortion ban violates their members' religious rights.
The Satanic Temple claimed the abortion ban violates their members' religious rights.
 
Party-backed Jeremy Rodden backed club even after a Satanist went on a murderous rampage five minutes from the school
Party-backed Jeremy Rodden backed club even after a Satanist went on a murderous rampage five minutes from the school
 
With a wedding hanging in the balance after running out of booze, Satan stepped up to miraculously turn water into Bud Light.
With a wedding hanging in the balance after running out of booze, Satan stepped up to miraculously turn water into Bud Light.
 
Satan was reportedly pleased this past weekend after an adorable little baby unintentionally served his dark will by distracting people in the pew behind him at a local church and preventing them from hearing the sermon.
Satan was reportedly pleased this past weekend after an adorable little baby unintentionally served his dark will by distracting people in the pew behind him at a local church and preventing them from hearing the sermon.
 
Facing increased backlash and negative public attention amid what is perceived by many to be an aggressive assault on traditional values, Satan has officially asked the LGBTQ+ community to tone down its efforts.
Facing increased backlash and negative public attention amid what is perceived by many to be an aggressive assault on traditional values, Satan has officially asked the LGBTQ+ community to tone down its efforts.
 
Amid a nationwide boycott, Target has chosen to remove some "pride" displays in their store. Experts are warning that this could leave many Satan-worshipping trans infants with limited options for their designer clothing.
Amid a nationwide boycott, Target has chosen to remove some "pride" displays in their store. Experts are warning that this could leave many Satan-worshipping trans infants with limited options for their designer clothing.
 
In a decision viewed as yet another part of the logical progression of the team's descent into otherworldly evil, the Los Angeles Dodgers have announced the team will replace the traditional 7th-Inning Stretch and its accompanying singing of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
In a decision viewed as yet another part of the logical progression of the team's descent into otherworldly evil, the Los Angeles Dodgers have announced the team will replace the traditional 7th-Inning Stretch and its accompanying singing of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
 
In an effort to further smooth things over following the controversial decision to re-invite LGBTQ+ activist group Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Los Angeles Dodgers have now summoned Satan himself to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Pride Night.
In an effort to further smooth things over following the controversial decision to re-invite LGBTQ+ activist group Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Los Angeles Dodgers have now summoned Satan himself to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Pride Night.
 
Erik Carnell, the self-identified transgender artist who runs the company Abprallen and was hired by Target to make designs for a “Pride Month” collection, asserted that the retail behemoth was aware of the designer’s Satanic imagery before the deal was official.
Erik Carnell, the self-identified transgender artist who runs the company Abprallen and was hired by Target to make designs for a “Pride Month” collection, asserted that the retail behemoth was aware of the designer’s Satanic imagery before the deal was official.
 
The artist who sells Satanic merchandise and was hired by Target to design three “Pride Month” items shuttered the Etsy store and website which carried the merchandise as sales skyrocketed.
The artist who sells Satanic merchandise and was hired by Target to design three “Pride Month” items shuttered the Etsy store and website which carried the merchandise as sales skyrocketed.
 
promoting Satanist "Pride" collection in its stores backfires with customers; stockholders lose
promoting Satanist "Pride" collection in its stores backfires with customers; stockholders lose
 
The Lord of Darkness dropped by Congress to offer testimony on behalf of his favorite app, TikTok.
The Lord of Darkness dropped by Congress to offer testimony on behalf of his favorite app, TikTok.
 
A Pennsylvania school district just revoked their previous approval for an After School Satan Club to use their facilities following extensive public backlash.
A Pennsylvania school district just revoked their previous approval for an After School Satan Club to use their facilities following extensive public backlash.
 
If you read this headline and thought it was an article from The Babylon Bee, you thought wrong — though your confusion would be understandable.
If you read this headline and thought it was an article from The Babylon Bee, you thought wrong — though your confusion would be understandable.
 
In a rare public statement, The Prince of Darkness has distanced himself from last night's Grammys performance by Sam Smith, which he denounced as "cringy" and "appalling."
In a rare public statement, The Prince of Darkness has distanced himself from last night's Grammys performance by Sam Smith, which he denounced as "cringy" and "appalling."
 
The ratings are in for the 2023 Grammy Awards show — which featured a “Demonic” performance by artist Sam Smith — and the show continues to struggle to bring in the audience it had pre-pandemic.
The ratings are in for the 2023 Grammy Awards show — which featured a “Demonic” performance by artist Sam Smith — and the show continues to struggle to bring in the audience it had pre-pandemic.
 
Viewers of the 65th Annual Grammy Awards slammed a performance on Sunday by Sam Smith and Kim Petras as “demonic” over its satanic theme.
Viewers of the 65th Annual Grammy Awards slammed a performance on Sunday by Sam Smith and Kim Petras as “demonic” over its satanic theme.
 
A local pastor was left embarrassed last weekend after proclaiming "Jesus was all about inclusion!" in his sermon, as it was later revealed he had actually been confusing Jesus with Satan the entire time.
A local pastor was left embarrassed last weekend after proclaiming "Jesus was all about inclusion!" in his sermon, as it was later revealed he had actually been confusing Jesus with Satan the entire time.
 
"Why did they choose Satan? Why not the Jean Paul Sartre existentialism club? Why not the Descartes club?"
 
During a surprise appearance at a Donald Trump rally in Pennsylvania, Satan himself opened the proceedings with a word of prayer.
During a surprise appearance at a Donald Trump rally in Pennsylvania, Satan himself opened the proceedings with a word of prayer.
 
The Satanic Temple (TST) is suing the state of Indiana over its recently passed abortion restriction law, claiming it infringes on the rights of its followers and violates the Constitution.
The Satanic Temple (TST) is suing the state of Indiana over its recently passed abortion restriction law, claiming it infringes on the rights of its followers and violates the Constitution.
 
Features demonic pagan rituals and single Mom knocked up by Satan
Features demonic pagan rituals and single Mom knocked up by Satan
 
Christian Nationalism is a Satanic movement in which Christians love America and vote for Republicans.
Christian Nationalism is a Satanic movement in which Christians love America and vote for Republicans.
 
Satan Responds To Roe V. Wade Overturn
 
A Russian official threatened nuclear war against the U.S. for providing support to Ukraine, claiming that four of Russia’s new intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBM) could decimate both of America’s coasts.
A Russian official threatened nuclear war against the U.S. for providing support to Ukraine, claiming that four of Russia’s new intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBM) could decimate both of America’s coasts.
 
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