Dr. Jesse R. Peel leaves legacy of philanthropy and compassion at ECU
Published: Friday, July 19th, 2024 @ 2:50 pm
By: ECU News Services
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Whether he's putting on a beanie and pretending to be a gym rat or putting on a false nose and glasses and pretending to be gay, James O'Keefe is a true master of disguise.
Published: Saturday, May 4th, 2024 @ 9:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The White House explained today that President Biden's horrific sunburn occurred due to him spreading mayonnaise on his face instead of his ham sandwich, a snafu that could happen to anyone of any cognitive ability.
Published: Tuesday, April 2nd, 2024 @ 11:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Another artificial intelligence tool has been accused of wreaking havoc with the racial reality of history.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 4:26 pm
By: Daily Wire
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"This is confession of a crime."
Published: Monday, March 4th, 2024 @ 2:21 am
By: Daily Wire
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An offshoot of the popular Chick-fil-A restaurant has been opened by Seventh-Day Adventist Church members and will reportedly be closed on Saturdays, but open on Sundays.
Published: Monday, March 4th, 2024 @ 2:14 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Baseball superstar Shohei Ohtani signed a record-shattering $700 million contract today with the Los Angeles Dodgers, which will net him about 58 bucks after taxes.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 4:30 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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worst than expected Senate border bill grants amnesty, legalizes Biden parole pipeline
Published: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024 @ 6:56 am
By: John Steed
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A group of men pretending to be women were invited to the Vatican today to share a special lunch with a man pretending to be Catholic.
Published: Thursday, February 1st, 2024 @ 12:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages.
Published: Wednesday, January 17th, 2024 @ 12:35 am
By: Babylon Bee
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DUBLIN, OH — According to sources, local 3rd-grader Carter Browning brought a FRIGGIN' LUNCHABLE to school. Man, he's so lucky!
Published: Friday, December 15th, 2023 @ 11:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Song of Songs is chock-full of memorable love lines (fawns, anyone?) -- but not all of Solomon's romantic poetry was included in the final cut. Here are nine rejected lines that didn't quite make the grade:
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 9:30 am
By: Babylon Bee
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RALEIGH: Chick-fil-A Supply, a wholly owned subsidiary of Chick-fil-A, Inc., and distribution service provider of the chain’s restaurants, will create more than 85 jobs in Rowan County, Governor Roy Cooper announced today.
Published: Monday, October 9th, 2023 @ 11:44 pm
By: Governor's Office
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Minutes after the Stephenson family had returned from a weeklong beach vacation filled with swimming, lounging, eating, and playing, Max, the youngest in the family, told his parents, "We never do anything fun," sources say.
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 11:47 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A ship that sank into the depths of Lake Michigan in 1881 has been discovered by shipwreck hunters, who described the ship as being like “a time capsule” into the past because of how well it has survived over the years.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 2:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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Ladies, we know you want us. Who wouldn't? Every woman wants a guy who spends all his time talking about Tolkien and Star Wars and playing Zelda, but how can you attract one? It's an age-old question, but thankfully, there are very simple answers.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 11:14 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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An ancient, wizened sage from a bygone era gathered a group of fascinated children around his knee to recount the Legend of the 29-cent Del Taco Value Taco.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 2:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A monumental archaeological expedition has uncovered the location of the Buc-ee's where the people of Israel stopped for refreshments while wandering in the desert after being freed from slavery in Egypt.
Published: Wednesday, September 20th, 2023 @ 11:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A headline of “BREAKING: Computer Model Produces Results As Designed” would not sound quite as horrifying as what credulous media treated us with last week.
Published: Wednesday, September 6th, 2023 @ 9:15 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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A popular cryptocurrency influencer was declared missing last week, and his body was found dismembered in a suitcase over the weekend.
Published: Tuesday, August 15th, 2023 @ 11:07 am
By: Daily Wire
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Local man Ernest Thompson is starting to think now may have been a bad time to launch his own business, "Crazy Ernie's Deep Sea Expeditions."
Published: Saturday, August 12th, 2023 @ 9:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As his first act, Chick-fil-A's new VP of Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion Erick McReynolds has revised company vocab guidelines, requiring white employees to move away from simple phrases like "my pleasure" and instead use preferred equitable language such as, "my privilege."
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 6:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In the wake of ex-chief Chris Licht’s sudden exit, CNN was apparently thrust deep into the throes of an identity crisis – and nowhere was that more evident than in their breathless coverage on Tuesday of Trump prosecutor Jack Smith’s … sandwich?
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 10:31 am
By: Daily Wire
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A horrifying incident took place last night, as conservative media personality Matt Walsh claims he was violently assaulted by drag queens outside a local Subway restaurant. According to Walsh, his attackers hurled the hateful "cis" slur at him and shouted, "This is Pride country!"
Published: Thursday, August 3rd, 2023 @ 4:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With news breaking of the Department of Justice handing down an indictment of former President Donald Trump, new details regarding the classified documents found in Trump's possession have come to light.
Published: Wednesday, July 19th, 2023 @ 10:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Young people won’t remember this, but there was a day not that long ago when our modems went from being able to handle 14.4 Kbps (thousands of bits per second) of data to 28.8 Kbps.
Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 8:22 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Nutrition science students scale up food production to nourish the campus community
Published: Tuesday, June 27th, 2023 @ 12:43 pm
By: ECU News Services
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A mysterious new virus is forcing millions of people around the world to call in sick to work today, according to sources.
Published: Friday, June 9th, 2023 @ 11:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) reported former San Francisco 49ers fullback Bruce Miller to U.S. Capitol Police this week after Miller allegedly sent him a threatening message on Twitter.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 6:52 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Attenborough family reportedly expressed regret for having brought Grandpa to the beach with them for a leisure weekend. The grandkids in particular wished he would just shut up and let them enjoy the beach.
Published: Saturday, June 3rd, 2023 @ 9:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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unfortunately RINO Tillis will probably support it
Published: Thursday, June 1st, 2023 @ 10:35 pm
By: John Steed
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The historic leader in primetime cable ratings Fox News was dominated last night by an unemployed man filming a selfie video in his partially-finished basement.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Yes, Jesus commanded us to "go into all the world and preach the Gospel," but sometimes it's really hard.
Published: Thursday, May 18th, 2023 @ 6:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Beaufort County Community College recognized its top-performing students on April 27.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 6:28 pm
By: Attila Nemecz
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