A deceased woman's most heartfelt wishes were finally realized this week, as a local family beautifully memorialized their beloved Aunt Millie by placing a decal bearing her name in the window of their Chrysler PT Cruiser.
Published: Tuesday, March 5th, 2024 @ 12:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Finding a good, Christian girl has never been harder. That's why The Babylon Bee is here to help out by offering you this tried and tested list of the absolute best places to look.
Published: Tuesday, February 20th, 2024 @ 3:53 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In an announcement sure to cause celebration across the nation, food chain Chick-fil-A has unveiled plans to add a tire rotation, oil change, car wash, and tax preparation services to their astoundingly efficient drive-thru lanes.
Published: Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024 @ 11:41 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As part of a limited-time offer to cash-strapped customers, fast-food giant McDonald's is now offering 36-month, 0% interest financing on all value menu items.
Published: Friday, December 22nd, 2023 @ 11:04 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The world's dumbest man, Jeremy Dander, pulled up to a McDonald's outside of lunch hours, noticed only two cars in the drive-thru, and made the mistake of assuming the experience wouldn't take long.
Published: Sunday, November 19th, 2023 @ 11:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Beaufort County Health Department will hold two drive-thru covid vaccine clinics over the next two weeks.
Published: Tuesday, October 31st, 2023 @ 6:59 pm
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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The Beaufort County Health Department will hold three drive-thru influenza vaccination clinics in October.
Published: Thursday, October 5th, 2023 @ 9:32 am
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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In a press briefing this morning, the White House praised the overwhelming success of "Bidenomics," as the average American now has twice as many jobs as they had two years ago.
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 5:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The drive-thru of a local Dunkin' Donuts was brought to a grinding halt this morning, as conservative media pundit, violinist, and doctor-husband Ben Shapiro continued his impassioned negative review of the new Barbie movie.
Published: Sunday, September 24th, 2023 @ 8:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
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It has been scientifically proven that it's impossible to know what women want (and we all know you can't question science). In fact, there is usually a vast discrepancy between what men think women want and what women actually want.
Published: Thursday, August 17th, 2023 @ 10:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Wendy’s announced on Thursday that the company will test a robotic system to deliver orders underground from its kitchens to distinct parking spots outside of its restaurants, a move which comes as the food services sector turns toward automation in response to labor shortages.
Published: Monday, June 5th, 2023 @ 7:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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OpenAI CEO Sam Altman testified before members of the Senate on Tuesday about the risks from artificial intelligence advancements, encouraging lawmakers to implement regulations.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 6:39 pm
By: Daily Wire
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According to several unnamed sources, Dr. Anthony Fauci has grown increasingly irritated as China appears to be getting blamed for creating COVID-19 — an accomplishment for which Fauci believes he deserves at least partial credit.
Published: Saturday, March 4th, 2023 @ 8:25 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With sheepishness in his voice and a spot of Three-Pepper Sauce™ on his collar, local accountant Zed Filbertson was seen on a call with his credit card company, informing them that yes, regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day.
Published: Saturday, February 18th, 2023 @ 8:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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While the nationwide labor shortage has been widely reported, one local Chick-Fil-A has suffered from an acute need for more workers. The store manager for the Omaha location says his location is staffed well below the nationwide average, with only 68 people working his drive-thru line.
Published: Thursday, January 26th, 2023 @ 2:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local attorney specializing in heated, bitter divorces has seen his business thrive since he set up shop at the exit of his local IKEA store.
Published: Saturday, November 5th, 2022 @ 8:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer's life in the drive-thru:
Published: Saturday, October 8th, 2022 @ 2:14 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Community now has extensive availability to other convenient testing options
Published: Friday, July 22nd, 2022 @ 7:05 pm
By: ECU News Services
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Authorities were dispatched to the Nashville Zoo after Psychology professor and free-speech activist Jordan Peterson disregarded all signs saying "do not ride the ostriches" while shouting "up yours, woke moralists!" at the top of his lungs.
Published: Saturday, July 16th, 2022 @ 5:23 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The 37th Annual Great Pirate Purple/Gold Pigskin Pig-Out Party is set for April 8-9. The Pigskin Pig-Out is a family-oriented festival style event surrounding the annual ECU Purple-Gold Spring Football Game at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium.
Published: Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022 @ 9:25 am
By: ECU Sports
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March 24th will mark the second anniversary of Beaufort County’s first COVID-19 case.
Published: Monday, March 14th, 2022 @ 10:26 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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More cover up of what is really going on
Published: Wednesday, August 18th, 2021 @ 5:08 pm
By: Countrygirl1411
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Today, Governor Roy Cooper visited Gates County to see more North Carolinians receive their vaccine at the county health clinic run by Albemarle Regional Health Services
Published: Monday, August 2nd, 2021 @ 10:04 am
By: Governor's Office
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Friday, July 2nd, 2021 @ 1:46 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Thursday, June 24th, 2021 @ 10:13 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Wednesday, June 16th, 2021 @ 8:27 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Governor Cooper Visits Mecklenburg County Vaccine Clinic Where Summer Cash Card Program Is in EffectMecklenburg County is one of four counties participating in NC DHHS $25 cash card vaccine incentive pilot program
Published: Sunday, June 13th, 2021 @ 1:05 am
By: Governor's Office
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Tuesday, June 8th, 2021 @ 2:00 am
By: Stan Deatherage
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“I will veto Article 10 of the budget passed by the legislature”
Published: Monday, June 7th, 2021 @ 10:19 am
By: Daily Wire
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The following information was current as of 12pm and reflects changes that have occurred since Friday 5/21/21.
Published: Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021 @ 4:27 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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The following information is as of 12pm
Published: Sunday, May 23rd, 2021 @ 9:32 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Sunday, May 23rd, 2021 @ 6:19 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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Remarks by President Biden at a Virtual Meeting With a Bipartisan Group of Governors
Published: Tuesday, May 18th, 2021 @ 9:52 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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The following information is as of 5pm
Published: Monday, May 3rd, 2021 @ 12:22 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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