Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Just one day after signing the richest contract in baseball history, Shohei Ohtani has reportedly begun having second thoughts about the Dodgers after meeting his new hitting coaches.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 5:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Baseball superstar Shohei Ohtani signed a record-shattering $700 million contract today with the Los Angeles Dodgers, which will net him about 58 bucks after taxes.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 4:30 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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It's something that's been debated by Bible scholars since the Earth was created some 6,023 years ago: what will the Mark of the Beast mentioned in the book of Revelation turn out to be?
Published: Saturday, January 13th, 2024 @ 12:05 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Reese's cups have all been eaten and another Halloween is in the books — meaning it's time for The Babylon Bee's roundup of the scariest costumes we saw in 2023! Read on -- if you dare:
Published: Tuesday, December 26th, 2023 @ 5:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The House GOP plan to offset $14.3 billion in aid for Israel by slashing the same amount of funds meant for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) would add to the federal deficit, according to a new analysis.
Published: Friday, November 17th, 2023 @ 1:00 pm
By: Daily Wire
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(Continued from headline) Trump calling Charlottesville neo-nazis "fine people," COVID-19 vaccine effectiveness, Bubba Wallace garage noose, Trump telling people to inject themselves with bleach
Published: Wednesday, November 8th, 2023 @ 8:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After being swept by the Diamondbacks in humiliating fashion, the Los Angeles Dodgers were left wondering if perhaps they ought to have spent more time practicing baseball and less time honoring Satanic nuns dressed in drag.
Published: Monday, October 23rd, 2023 @ 8:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Did you know that you might be gay and not even know it? It's true! We've consulted with experts in psychology and sodomy to help you identify the telltale signs that you are a closet homosexual.
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 9:03 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local straight man, husband, and father of three Lyle Flann locked himself in his room to secretly enjoy Pitch Perfect again, sources confirmed Wednesday.
Published: Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023 @ 3:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In an inspiring international gesture in honor of Pride Month, the frozen corpses of climbers on Mount Everest have been heavily decorated to reflect the celebration's rainbow theme.
Published: Sunday, July 30th, 2023 @ 8:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Williams is teaming up with a Catholic app for a prayer challenge the same day the Dodgers honor the drag group
Published: Monday, June 26th, 2023 @ 9:08 am
By: Daily Wire
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In a decision viewed as yet another part of the logical progression of the team's descent into otherworldly evil, the Los Angeles Dodgers have announced the team will replace the traditional 7th-Inning Stretch and its accompanying singing of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
Published: Friday, June 23rd, 2023 @ 2:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After decades of total dominance, the Dallas Cowboys have been dethroned by the Los Angeles Dodgers as the gayest team in all of sports.
Published: Thursday, June 22nd, 2023 @ 12:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A large group of demonstrators protested the Los Angeles Dodgers honoring a drag troupe of self-described “queer and trans nuns” on Friday.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 5:07 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In an effort to further smooth things over following the controversial decision to re-invite LGBTQ+ activist group Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Los Angeles Dodgers have now summoned Satan himself to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Pride Night.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 10:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Three Christian organizations will host a prayer vigil on the west steps of the California state Capitol in Sacramento on Monday as a member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence is honored inside by elected officials.
Published: Monday, June 19th, 2023 @ 12:31 am
By: Daily Wire
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Outspoken Christian and NBA star Jonathan Isaac is taking another stand against the leftist narratives sweeping the United States by launching a new sports and apparel company founded on the tenets of the love of God and country.
Published: Sunday, June 18th, 2023 @ 2:59 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Finally, multiple Roman Catholic bishops are fighting back against the Los Angeles Dodgers’ sacrilegious decision to re-invite a group of deviant drag queen “nuns” to its Pride Night in June.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 12:08 am
By: Daily Wire
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"Our primary purpose in doing this is not to make them hurt financially, but to not participate in evil."
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 8:59 am
By: Daily Wire
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Have you ever looked at the Biden administration, and thought, “Where does the president find these people?” Well, apparently he finds them in the streets of American cities mocking the Roman Catholic Church.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 5:54 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Dodgers will give the group a "Community Hero Award."
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 7:06 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Baseball fans couldn’t be pleased to learn that New York‘s Department of Transportation misspelled the name of Jackie Robinson Parkway, accidentally writing the Hall of Famer’s first name as “Jakie.”
Published: Thursday, March 9th, 2023 @ 6:15 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Mr. Raymond Harvey “Rusty” Carrow, age 88, a resident of Carrow Lane, Chocowinity, died Thursday, February 23, 2023, at his home.
Published: Monday, February 27th, 2023 @ 8:21 am
By: Announcements
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The Houston Astros have won the 2022 World Series, defeating the Philadelphia Phillies four games to two by a final score of 4 to 1.
Published: Monday, November 14th, 2022 @ 7:58 am
By: Daily Wire
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Selective services says
Published: Wednesday, October 12th, 2022 @ 7:36 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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By signing the Inflation Reduction Act, President Biden is delivering on his promise to build an economy that works for working families. President Biden is the most pro-worker, pro-union President in history, and the Inflation Reduction Act builds on that legacy.
Published: Tuesday, August 23rd, 2022 @ 1:46 am
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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Don't waste time
Published: Saturday, January 1st, 2022 @ 5:16 pm
By: Countrygirl1411
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America's beloved comedian, the late Milton Berle, once told this story.
Published: Friday, December 31st, 2021 @ 2:30 pm
By: Rev Mark Howard Creech
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Through one of Donald Trump’s final acts as president, former N.C. Republican Party chairman Robin Hayes became one of the most prominent North Carolinians to receive a presidential pardon.
Published: Saturday, January 23rd, 2021 @ 10:07 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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Both sides play cover your tail with pardons.
Published: Thursday, July 16th, 2020 @ 11:21 am
By: LifeZette
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Remarks by President Trump Welcoming the 2018 World Series Champions Boston Red Sox
Published: Sunday, May 19th, 2019 @ 9:50 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
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The American Character is reflected in Those we Elect or Don't Elect
Published: Monday, December 18th, 2017 @ 2:24 am
By: Bobby Tony
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I've had my disagreements with Duke Energy, both historically and recently. But the company got a bum rap in a new story stumbling its way through media circles: that Duke Energy uses abusive tax loopholes to avoid paying its fair share of federal income taxes.
Published: Friday, March 7th, 2014 @ 1:11 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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