A Greenpeace Christmas | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: I know that this is Christmas, 2015, and this post is from a year ago, but this stuff never fails to crack me up. Such complete and sophistry.

Greenpeace Cancels Christmas, 2013: The Greenpeace Santa looks as if he needs a stiff drink, or, moreover, may be the victim of a few too many in his sad dark world.

    Greenpeace's vision of Father Christmas is a dirty, shabbily dressed Kris Kringle, who appears to be appropriately 'down on his luck', and at his 'wits end' relative to his immediate climate - it is too warm where he lives - the North Pole. Consequently, the Greenpeace Santa is advocating the world-wide gift of a giant crimson bag of coal for every girl and boy by cancelling Christmas.

    This (anti) socially aware, and Global Warming paranoid Santa is blaming this Christmas catastrophe on the ambivalence of 'world leaders'; however, real 'socially aware' folk can easily grasp that this Greenpeace Santa Claus prefers to 'drink alone' in his sad dark, dank room (probably where he keeps the bulk of coal that will be his Greenpeace gift), and his morose view of a world that is, obviously, his unwelcome challenge to understand, rather than keep to the task of keeping the spirit of the season by doing his job.

    Such a sad, pathetically despondent Greenpeace Santa here in his shadowy room of dripping pipes, and hopeless inebriated thoughts, for just miles away, today, in Barrow, Alaska, the high of the day is 3 degrees below zero, and colder at night, which should be more than cold enough to mend the drip, drip of a melting world. Such a sad little Greenpeace man; possibly in the grips of a drunken hallucination.

    One has to question: Where is Mrs. Claus in these woeful times?

    Publisher's note: If you are really in the Christmas spirit, or just in the need for more, please click here to access all of the holiday spirit in melody and narrative that BCN can harness and offer for this Yuletide Season.