In Incredible Black Friday Sale, Lockheed Martin Offering 2 Wars For Price Of 1

Latest Polls (view all)

Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.11% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

0.94% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0.94% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

Click Here to Vote
106 Vote(s)

View all Polls

In Incredible Black Friday Sale, Lockheed Martin Offering 2 Wars For Price Of 1

Published: Sunday, January 14th, 2024 @ 2:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BETHESDA, MD     In an astonishing Black Friday sale, Lockheed Martin is now offering to equip 2 wars for the price of 1.

    "We've NEVER slashed our prices this low!" said Lockheed CEO James Taiclet in a public press conference announcing the once-in-a-lifetime event. "War in Ukraine! War in Israel! War in China! It doesn't matter! For today only, we will provide two wars-worth of death-dealing equipment to the government for the price of only one! We could fund 2 wars! 4 wars! Even 6 wars! With prices this low, we'd be foolish not to!"

    Sources confirmed defense contractors Raytheon, Northrop Grumman, and General Dynamics have followed suit with similar offers for Black Friday only. The Department of Defense is being advised to stock up on drones, hellfire missiles, space lasers, and other necessary equipment to be sent to rogue governments, terrorist organizations, and corrupt oligarchs around the world to help them make war for the benefit of the military-industrial complex.

    "This year, the military can get its Christmas shopping done early," said Raytheon CEO Gregory Hayes. "Stock up! Those civilians in Yemen aren't going to bomb themselves!"

    At publishing time, military officials had become frustrated to realize Lockheed Martin had just marked up their prices 100% on Thursday in order to slash them on Friday.

Go Back