'We Cannot Be Associated With Elon Musk,' Says Tim Cook While Shaking Hands With Brutal Chinese Dictator | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Amid charges that Elon Musk's social media app "X" has become a dangerous breeding ground for speech Communists don't like, Apple CEO Tim Cook has elected to pull all Apple advertising from the platform.

    "I refuse to allow my morally pristine corporation to be associated with disreputable characters like Elon Musk," said Cook while shaking the hand of murderous communist dictator Xi Jinping at this week's APEC Dinner. "Plus, the ADL, ACLU, and WEF told me I had to pull my ads or they'd break the story about what I did on Epstein Island. We can't have that."

    Sources confirmed Cook had a lengthy discussion with the cruel tyrant who runs the slave state of Communist China, including how they can produce more iPhones with the same number of Uyghur slaves without too many of them dying. "At Apple, we are willing to make the hard, yet moral choices," he said. "In this case, the clear moral choice is to attempt to destroy the only mainstream social media platform not controlled by China. I mean, I have to. Or the pictures will get sent to the Washington Post."

    Mother Nature, the vengeful pagan god presiding over Apple's climate change mitigation efforts, applauded the move. "I want fewer people on the planet," she said. "And Elon Musk wants more people on the planet. He must be eliminated."

    Sources confirmed Cook has moved his advertising dollars over to Facebook, which is currently the preferred platform for organizing "Kill the Jews" rallies around the world.

    At publishing time, Cook had been forced to denounce President Xi after discovering Xi had previously shaken hands with Elon Musk.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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