10 Ways To Improve Diversity, Equity, And Inclusion At Your Workplace | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Every company wants to grow, thrive, and be successful, but only truly GREAT companies want to do it by focusing obsessively on the skin color and sexuality of their workers. Improving your company's DEI score is the most important thing you can possibly do for your company.

    The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of ways to turn your workplace into a wokeplace.

1. Take off your shoe and smack a white person in the head with it: Bonus points are available if the striker shouts "White! White! White!" while doing so.
2. Hold a mandatory indigenous spirit dance in the boardroom every Tuesday: Any team member who refuses to participate or don the required loincloth will be fired.
3. Amend the employee handbook to require everyone to be gay: A perfect workplace is a workplace overflowing with gayness.
4. Go to Starbucks, point at the first woman of color with a septum piercing you see, and say "You're hired!": If it works for making appointments to the Supreme Court, it can work for you.
5. Keep having 3-hour diversity seminars until all the white guys quit: Removing an entire race of employees is the first step toward inclusion.
6. Offer a bonus for anyone who gets an abortion: We're not sure why this improves your DEI score, but the WEF confirmed it does.
7. Provide free gender surgeons in the restrooms: On-site gender surgery means less time off needed by employees.
8. Invite Hamas to give a talk about killing Jews: It's important to get the perspective of the brave resistance fighters who are fighting their colonizers by murdering babies.
9. Allow minority workers to loot the desks of their white coworkers whenever they want: If any white employee's desk goes un-looted, simply take reparations out of their paycheck.
10. Offer unlimited curry in the cafeteria (this will get you Indians): A guaranteed way to score some of the most sought-after employees.

    Follow the steps above and your workplace will be well on its way to a stellar DEI score! Good luck!

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

845 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?