Local Christian So Deep And Spiritual He’s Not Encouraged By Simplistic Gospel Presentation

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.11% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

0.94% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0.94% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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Local Christian So Deep And Spiritual He’s Not Encouraged By Simplistic Gospel Presentation

Published: Saturday, November 18th, 2023 @ 1:47 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    GREENWICH, CT     Local Christian man Don Stanton has reportedly become so deep and spiritual, he's no longer edified by sermons that simply preach the Gospel.

    "I'm way past that basic 'Jesus died for your sins' stuff," said Mr. Stanton. "Those sermons were fine when I was a little baby Christian, but I'm beyond all that now."

    According to Mr. Stanton, the only sermons that can now build up his faith are those exploring complicated hermeneutics of lesser-studied Biblical passages. Having mastered the entire New Testament, Mr. Stanton has moved to exclusively studying the lesser prophets and no longer wastes time with the more obvious Gospel exhortations. "As soon as I hear the pastor ask us to turn to the Gospel of John, I'm out," said Mr. Stanton. "I mean, how many times do I need to hear the proclamation that my sins are forgiven through Jesus' finished work on the cross?"

    At publishing time, Mr. Stanton also reported that he had graduated from reading C.S. Lewis and would be moving on to more complex thinkers.

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