U.S. Government Asks China For Quick Loan To Bail Out Silicon Valley Bank | Eastern North Carolina Now

In an attempt to avert a major financial disaster in the wake of Silicon Valley Bank's collapse, the Biden Administration held a special meeting with Chinese President Xi to ask him for a quick loan to help bail out the failing bank.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     In an attempt to avert a major financial disaster in the wake of Silicon Valley Bank's collapse, the Biden Administration held a special meeting with Chinese President Xi to ask him for a quick loan to help bail out the failing bank.

    "Hey, Xi old buddy! I haven't seen you since we were pallin' around in the foothills of the Himalayas!" said Biden to the CCP leader. "We need a couple bucks. Just a small loan to bail out some bankers and prevent the collapse of the economy again. Can you do us a solid? We promise we'll pay you back! Please?"

    "Pretty please?"

    Xi reportedly withdrew his hand from a pot of honey long enough to shake Biden's hand and offer him a guaranteed loan of a few hundred billion. In return, Biden offered up the land in East Palestine, the island of Taiwan, and one of Hunter's paintings as security.

    "Thanks, Xi ol' buddy ol' pal," Biden gushed, according to witnesses. "You won't regret this! I'm sure a future president of future generations of Americans will pay you back long after I'm dead!"

    At publishing time, several more banks had collapsed, forcing the U.S. to ask Ukraine for some of its aid money back.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )



Comment

( March 19th, 2023 @ 8:07 pm )
 
Now that is sad that we have to ask China for more money,they own more of our country then we do.Maybe we should start learning Chinese.



DOD seeking largest budget in history, driven by high tech Babylon Bee, Editorials, Somebody's Laughing, Op-Ed & Politics, The Arts Oscar For Best Actor Goes To Volodymyr Zelensky


HbAD0

Latest The Arts

As everyone now knows, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling to grant presidents immunity for "official acts" has given Donald Trump unlimited power to do literally anything he wants with zero consequences whatsoever.
Veterans Day is a festive celebration by those who returned, married, had kids, worked and retired. We are the one who have reunions and share photos and stories.
“Malcolm in the Middle” actor Frankie Muniz said that even though he had a good experience as a child star, he still doesn’t want his son to enter the profession.
Famed Allman Brothers Band guitarist Dickey Betts, responsible for writing the group’s biggest hit, “Ramblin’ Man,” died Thursday at his home in Osprey, Florida. He was 80.
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.
‘Oppenheimer’ movie scored big at the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday, taking home seven Oscars from the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.
Legendary stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, also known for his work on the hit HBO show “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” has died after suffering a heart attack. He was 76.
The game show “Jeopardy!,” in which gives contestants must give answers in the form of a question, embraced the woke agenda by including so-called “neo-pronouns” as an answer.

HbAD1

Actor Gary Sinise delivered a glowing tribute to his late son, McCanna Anthony “Mac” Sinise, nearly two months after he died of chordoma, an extremely rare cancer that attacks the spine.
Kevin Costner just released the trailer for his upcoming Western drama film, “Horizon: An American Saga.”
The classic musical film “Mary Poppins” has been changed to a “PG” rating in the United Kingdom due to perceived “discriminatory language.”
The 2024 SAG (Screen Actors Guild) Awards ceremony took place Saturday night, with current popular titles “Oppenheimer” and “The Bear” taking home multiple awards.
Shia LaBeouf received the Sacrament of Confirmation, completing his conversion to Catholicism, on Sunday, and the actor’s confirmation sponsor suggested LaBeouf may become a deacon “in the future.”
Michael Keaton said he’s been having a blast working on the “Beetlejuice” sequel and that, as promised, it’s not going to be filled with CGI-heavy special effects.
Sony Pictures entertainment has announced that four separate Beatles movies are in the works, one featuring each of the members of the famed British band.
In this high tech Home Theater era of endless options of cinematic series, movies, sitcoms, and episodic television, we, who consume, all have our favorites in this copious threaded arena of these many entertaining stories of reality, comedy, and, on occasion, high art reminiscent of the best of us.
New York District Attorney Letitia James followed through on her threat to seize the property of Trump by grabbing up the former president's estate, Mar-a-lago. The top lawyer for the Big Apple then turned around and sold the property for $740 million.

HbAD2

The latest installment of “The Pendragon Cycle” production diaries takes the bull by the horns, literally, with an incredible bull dancing scene shot in Rome.
Mark Wahlberg said that COVID caused a “disconnect” between Americans and called for people to come back together through the “power of prayer.”
Fans can pay to see an Elvis Presley concert thanks to the growing popularity of AI technology in the concert sphere.
“Sound of Freedom” beat out Taylor Swift’s “The Eras Tour” movie to finish in the top ten of 2023 box office tallies domestically.
“The Chosen” dropped a fiery new trailer on Thursday that gives fans a sneak peek at what to expect in the upcoming episodes in Season 4, which will be shown in theaters.
What began as a pleasant seminar at Lakewood Church devolved into an awkward situation today, as Senior Pastor Joel Osteen was stumped by one attendee who asked him to name three books from the Bible.
A new horror movie featuring the “Steamboat Willie” version of Mickey Mouse is currently in the works, per a Variety report.
“Friends” alumnus David Schwimmer took to Instagram on Friday to call out people who continued to deny increasing reports and evidence that the terror group Hamas used sexual violence as a weapon against Israeli women — both during the October 7th attacks and on hostages in Gaza.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top