Man Reads Tweet He Disagrees With, Dies | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    RALEIGH, NC     Local man Alex Harmon tragically passed away this afternoon after reading a tweet that he didn't really agree with.

    "Mr. Harmon appears to have died from suffering a direct exposure to a differing opinion," said police. "While the exposure was brief, the results were predictably fatal."

    According to his roommates, Mr. Harmon had begun scrolling Twitter on his phone when he saw a politician tweet about billionaires not paying their fair share of taxes. He reportedly made the critical error of reading responses to the tweet, where user "@JohnnyMakesCash" argued that billionaires actually contribute a much higher percentage of their income to taxes than politicians do, and thus are actually taxed fairly under the current system. Mr. Harmon instantly dropped dead, the contrary view committing literal violence upon his body and soul.

    "I just can't believe he's gone," said housemate Lester McNutt. "I told Alex so many times to just watch MSNBC and stay off Twitter. But he wouldn't listen, and now he's dead. How many more people does Elon Musk have to kill before we ban speech once and for all?"

    At publishing time, Mr. McNutt had also died after accidentally walking through a hotel lobby at the same time as Ben Shapiro.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

845 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?