15 Job Qualifications To Work For The Fed | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The Federal Reserve controls the economy, prints trillions of dollars so they can make you poorer without taxing you, and raises interest rates on things because of reasons. Sound like something you'd be interested in?

    Check out this list of key job requirements to work at the Fed:

1. Must be a United States citizen
2. Up to date with all 20 COVID boosters
3. Know how to change an ink cartridge on a money printer
4. Must possess all fingers and toes (for counting purposes)
5. Little to no knowledge of economics, basic math required
6. Ability to go on TV and look concerned whenever there's a recession brewing
7. Must think Paul Krugman is the greatest living economist
8. Make a 1% into a 2% and vice versa
9. Must be proficient in double speak, always leaving ambiguity in your words
10. Experience with blame shifting
11. Must be able to call a hundredth of a percent "one basis point" to sound smarter
12. Able to sound 2000% certain about something that has a 5% chance of happening
13. Communists preferred, socialists accepted
14. Must be out of touch with the American people
15. Experience with Microsoft Office preferred but not required