Stacey Abrams Reveals Eight More Problems Besides Inflation You Can Fix By Killing Your Kids | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    So, you've learned from Stacey Abrams that you can deal with high food and gas prices by murdering your children - but what other problems in your life could be solved by simply offing your kids? Ms. Abrams has graciously compiled a list of eight other stressors you could have off your back - with a little help from a hitman.

1. Climate change - once you stop those suckers from producing carbon dioxide, you'll never again worry if you've done your part to battle global warming.
2. You have to pack SO much extra crap for vacation - besides, everyone says Disney is more fun without kids. Why shouldn't it be magical for the person footing the bill, huh?
3. Parent-teacher conferences - no more having to hear about little Johnny talking too much. Because, you know, he's dead!
4. No one will hog your Legos - kids always take the little hinge pieces that you need, which is uber annoying.
5. Less risk of sorrow - the fewer people you really love and care for, the less your risk of sorrow. What a deal!
6. Having to keep glass on a high shelf - super irritating. Sorry kid, you're just not worth it.
7. Getting behind on your Netflix shows - with kids out of the picture, binge-watching gratuitous violence has never been easier.
8. People making a fuss when you die - who doesn't want to be alone in silence on their deathbed?

    Wow, thanks Stacey! The state of Georgia sure has been lucky to have you as their rightful governor these past four years!

poll#152

With Roe v Wade (originated in 1973) overturned by the US Supreme Court, thereby allowing decisions on abortion legislation completely returned to the states: Where do you find your position on such a "Life and Death" issue for the American People?

  Yes, I approve of the US Supreme Court's decision to reinstate this "medical" issue back to the states' legislative responsibility to regulate.

  No, I believe that every woman should have complete access to abortion on demand.

  This issue is far beyond my intellectual capacity to understand.

584 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?