Batman Unable To Keep Up With Rising Crime As Gotham City Elects Another Democrat | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    GOTHAM CITY     Batman has finally been forced to hang up his cape and abandon his beloved city as the crime rate continues to soar under Democrat leadership. Following the election of another democrat, Mayor Tori Tightfoot, Batman has decided he just can't keep up with the crime anymore.

    "Alfred, these Democrat politicians are releasing criminals from prison faster than Gordon and I can lock them up!" confided Bruce Wayne to his butler. "This is ten times worse than the time Scarecrow gassed the entire city with Fear Gas! At least then I could stop it immediately. Now we have to wait for next election season."

    "I'd rather fight Ra's Al Ghul, Bane, Joker, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, and Deathstroke all over again at the same time than try and keep up with the rampant lawlessness created by these Democrat policies," continued Batman. "Somethings gotta give, Alfred. And I can only break so many jaws."

    According to sources, Batman has been spotted less and less at night. He claims it's getting too dangerous out there and that last week alone the Batmobile got broken into, torched, and looted while he was fighting the Penguin.

    At publishing time it was revealed the Batman had moved to Florida.