FBI Leaks Classified Documents To Washington Post So Everyone Will Know How Bad Mishandling Classified Information Is | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     After raiding President Trump's home to ensure the security of Top-Secret documents, the FBI has immediately leaked the contents of those documents to the press so everyone would know how dangerous it was for them to be unsecured.

    "Wow, this is really ultra-sensitive, risky material! Send it to The Washington Post immediately so everyone will know how super-duper classified it is," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "Gosh, it could have been disastrous if anyone found all this before us. They might have just left all this highly classified material sitting in the closet, instead of handing it over to the press to be plastered online. Close one!"

    While the contents of the classified material at Mar-A-Lago were unknown before the FBI became involved, Director Wray said that letting such information out into the open was simply a part of the process. "Obviously if we don't reveal what the classified intelligence is, people won't understand why it's classified," said Director Wray. "So it is critical that we let partisan news agencies that are currently self-imploding view classified intelligence and then broadcast it out to the world! That's so much better for our country than letting the intel stay in a closet, under guard by Secret Service."

    Having read the FBI leaks, Democrats attacked President Trump for keeping documents about other countries' nuclear capabilities. "It is absolutely unconscionable that Trump would have classified material sitting there, doing nothing, when our intelligence agencies could instead be leaking that information to the entire planet," said Adam Kinzinger. "If only Trump had just handed them over, this Top-Secret information could have gotten into the hands of our trusted press much, much quicker. Shame on Trump!"

    At publishing time, the FBI admitted that the story they gave The Washington Post was a slight exaggeration, and the "nuclear secrets" were actually just a couple of old Atomic Fireball wrappers.

poll#157

Was it a judicious ploy for Joe Biden's FBI to execute the unprecedented raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate?

  Yes; the Cheneys despise this former Republican president, and for good reason ... so they say.

  No; never has a former president been treated with this level of vindictive abuse by those temporarily in power.

  Who cares? It's Trump.

932 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?