FBI Instructs Facebook To Censor Posts About The FBI Instructing Facebook To Censor Posts About Hunter's Laptop | Eastern North Carolina Now

nbsp;   Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     After Mark Zuckerberg leaked news that the FBI had instructed Facebook to censor posts about Hunter's laptop, the FBI immediately called Zuckerberg to tell him to censor any posts about that censorship.

    "We cannot have news about us censoring people get out there uncensored," said FBI director Christopher Wray. "The solution to people being upset about us squashing a damaging story in order to tilt an election is quite simple: we squash that story as well, which will hopefully then tilt the next election. And if people then discover we censored the stories about censorship, we'll censor that too. This job is actually pretty easy."

Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.

    According to Mr. Zuckerberg, the FBI had contacted him with a directive to be on the lookout for Russian misinformation which could help sway the election. "Then all of a sudden, here are 51 intelligence officials saying they're sure the Hunter laptop story is a Russian plot," said Mr. Zuckerberg. "As you can see, I was a total patsy! I got nothing out of it, except this sweet FBI windbreaker and a bag of crickets."

    Although accused of using social media companies to vicariously control the narrative for political ends, the FBI maintains it is completely non-partisan. "The fact that we were dead wrong about Hunter's laptop being a Russian ploy does not mean we squashed the story for political purposes," said Director Wray. "Neither does the fact that we spent years trying to bury Trump under Russian collusion accusations that turned out to be fabricated. Or that we literally have targeted parents as terrorists if they fight liberal school indoctrination. Or that we are padding numbers to justify targeting domestic extremists, who happen to all be right-wing. Or that when a left-wing extremist literally tried to assassinate a Republican, we labeled it 'suicide by cop'. Or that a judge ruled we used bogus claims to wiretap people working for the Republicans' presidential campaign in 2016. "

    At publishing time, the FBI had also requested Facebook squash stories from that terrible well of misinformation under the guise of satire, commonly known as the Babylon Bee.

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#145

After one full year of the Biden /Harris Administration: Does Joe Biden have the intellectual capacity, and, or the energy to lead the United States of America through the mess that he predominately created ... in just one year?

  Yes

  No

  Unsure

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poll#157

Was it a judicious ploy for Joe Biden's FBI to execute the unprecedented raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate?

  Yes; the Cheneys despise this former Republican president, and for good reason ... so they say.

  No; never has a former president been treated with this level of vindictive abuse by those temporarily in power.

  Who cares? It's Trump.

932 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?