Sneaky Parents Dress Son Up As A Girl On First Day Of School So Teachers Will Show Him How To Be A Boy | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    PORTLAND, OR     Local parents Cindy and Bob Conners have devised a clever plan to protect their son from gender indoctrination at school. During the first week, they are dressing up their 7-year-old son as a girl so that teachers will encourage him to challenge gender stereotypes and act like a boy.

    "You gotta play 4D Chess with these teachers," said Mr. Conners. "I'm hoping this trick will ensure our son is still a son at the end of the school year."

    Sources say thousands of parents around the country are employing tricks to protect their impressionable youngsters from gender indoctrination and grooming - including cross-dressing their kids, attaching microphones to listen in to student/teacher conversations, and even homeschooling.

    "Sending kids to school these days is like throwing chum to a frenzy of hungry sharks," said Mrs. Connors. "They don't even learn math and reading anymore. Now that I think about it, why are we even still doing this school thing? I forget."

    At publishing time, the boy's teacher - who thought he was a girl - groomed him back to being a boy. Unfortunately, the boy now identifies as "two-spirit."