12 Red Flags That Will Prevent You From Buying A Firearm | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    In light of recent shootings, Congress is considering red flag laws they've secretly been wanting to pass for decades. This means that even though you have a right to bear arms guaranteed by the US Constitution, they can make exceptions based on a list of criteria they come up with-namely, red flags.

    Here are twelve red flags that will prevent you from buying a firearm if congress has its way:

    1) You are applying to purchase a firearm: Ew! You want to buy a gun? MAJOR red flag there.

    2) You once shared a Babylon Bee article on Facebook: You're probably on the no-fly list already.

    3) You don't support the current thing in your Twitter bio: YOU BIGOT.

    4) You're Joe Biden's bicycle: Attempts on the President's life will not be tolerated.

    5) You're a Vietnam vet just passing through town until the local police push you too far: They drew first blood!

    6) You once called in a chopper with your 7-kill streak on Call Of Duty: You monster.

    7) You think RoboCop is the good guy: He shoots literally everyone.

    8) You think Jan 6 was bad but not anywhere close to 9/11: Some real insurrectionist vibes here.

    9) You still drive a vehicle that runs on gasoline: People who murder the planet always move on to murdering humans.

    10) You didn't kneel and worship the pride flag when the trumpets played: It's the furnace for you, friend.

    11) You know Pi to 11 places but you only know the first 4 letters of LGBTQIA2S...: You're clearly not compassionate enough to follow proper gun safety protocols.

    12) You oppose red flag laws: This one is pretty obvious. Always support controversial government policy without question.