Biden Watches White House Press Briefing In Hopes Of Finding Out What His Policy Positions Are | Eastern North Carolina Now

According to White House sources, President Biden tuned in to the latest White House press conference this afternoon in an attempt to find out what his policy positions are.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     According to White House sources, President Biden tuned in to the latest White House press conference this afternoon in an attempt to find out what his policy positions are.

    "Ahhh so that's what I believe! I couldn't remember!" said Biden to the flatscreen hanging on the wall as the Press Secretary outlined Biden's opinion on gun control. "Darnit, man, that Karine Jean-Pierre is quite a looker! Too bad she's one of them 'LGBTs' or she might go for me!" Biden then winked and elbowed a potted plant he mistook for one of his assistants.

    Biden is being encouraged by aides to watch the White House press briefings every day in between his nap and snack time. They hope this practice will be effective at reminding him what his positions are and how to articulate them, as well as what his name is.

    At publishing time, Biden has agreed to watch more briefings as long as that "classy dame Jean-Pierre" shows up each time.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Review Of [Latest Marvel Movie]: A Film Where Things Happen, Heroes Punch Bad Guys, And Sometimes There Are Jokes Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Lotus Bakeries to Invest $84 Million and Add 62 Jobs for a Second Expansion in Mebane


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Vice President Kamala Harris’ husband, Doug Emhoff, admitted that he cheated on his first wife with the couple’s babysitter after a report was published on Saturday that said the marriage ended after he got the babysitter pregnant.
A black Georgia activist became the center of attention at a rally for former president Donald Trump on Saturday when she riled the crowd in support of Trump and how his policies benefit black Americans.
Former President has been indicted by a federal judge in Pennsylvania for inciting an assassination attempt that nearly killed him.
A federal judge ruled on Monday that Google has a monopoly over general search engine services, siding with the Justice Department and more than two dozen states that sued the tech company, alleging antitrust violations.
3 debates and Twitter interview
If we vote the way we have always voted we will get the kind of government we have always gotten
Check it out and see if you think this is an exhibit of Open Government

HbAD1

Acting U.S. Secret Service Director Ronald Rowe told reporters on Friday that his agency was fully responsible for the assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump last month and that the agency “should have had eyes” on the roof where 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks.
Smartmatic was at center of voting machine controversy in US 2020 election
If we vote the way we have always voted we will get the kind of government we have always gotten
Shooter was identified on the roof with a weapon with enough time to stop him...but, officers were not prepared to access the roof

HbAD2

President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris faced backlash Thursday afternoon over what they told Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during a call.
while Biden-Harris tries to force it down the throat of American schools
blasts what Democrat supermajority is doing to the state
RALEIGH: Tropical Storm Debby continues to bring heavy rain and flooding across North Carolina on Thursday.
The bomb that killed Ismail Haniyeh, the top leader of Hamas, in Iran early Wednesday was planted several weeks ago, according to a new report.
opens Minnesota to child genital multiation and pedophilia; will seek same in nation

HbAD3

Monday morning, two of the biggest names in TV — for opposite reasons — were canned or otherwise left their jobs.
RALEIGH: North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper and state leaders urged people to beware of drenching rains and flooded roads as Tropical Storm Debby begins to impact the state.
Kari Lake emerged victorious on Wednesday in her bid to become the GOP nominee in Arizona‘s 2024 U.S. Senate race.
With school choice being such a hot topic these days, it can be helpful for parents to learn more about what the experiences are like in different learning environments. Though there may be pros and cons to each option, the differences may surprise you.
The former lover and mentor of Kamala Harris, Willie Brown, who served as mayor of San Francisco, had an extra-marital affair with Harris, and appointed her to two positions when he was California’s Speaker of the Assembly, has advised her to keep her actual ideology fuzzy
Weird Walz bailed out while J.D. Vance served his country in Iraq

HbAD4

 
Back to Top